Whod you bang
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
