I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
