your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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