I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
