I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
bring money and cleavage
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
