Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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