hell yes lets make some ravioli
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
