i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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