Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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