We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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