Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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