Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Welp...herpes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
