i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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