Is it normal to miss your booty call?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
