Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize