I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize