big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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