Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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