And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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