So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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