I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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