Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize