I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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