Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
