I'm drive I can fine osifer
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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