I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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