i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
