I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
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Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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