Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
