so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
