Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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