ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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