Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
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I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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