Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
