We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
