i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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