Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
