We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
