Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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