you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
