dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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