Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
