U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
