Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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