So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
