Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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