I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
