How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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