Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
