I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
