It's just like the Real World with babies
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
