Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
