i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
