i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
