a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
