ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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