Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Randomize
