So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize