I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
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