i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
