one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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