Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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