You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
