wakey wakey hands off snakey
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
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So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
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