I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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